Insults and other Slags
- "Were he any denser, he would achieve critical mass."
- "If nature abhors a vacuum, it must loathe the space between your ears."
- "I don't mind that English is his second language, I merely wish he had a first."
- "Did your parents commit suicide when they finally realized what they'd done?"
- "I don't wish to imply that your sexual partners are ugly, but even your left hand has warts."
- "You are so tiresome that Lucifer himself roots for your salvation because the thought of spending eternity with you is a reminder that he really is in Hell."
- "Laughter is not the best medicine, mockery is. So long as one has the foresight to be the one doing the mocking."
- "Do you know the old adage There is a sucker born every minute? You're the reason the ratio is that high."
- "It's no use talking to him, your words will go in one ear and right out the other because there's naught between to slow them down."
- "There is an old adage When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Better by far to view the lemons as ammunition and pelt life for its presumption. Of course, when doing so it's paramount to slice the lemon open down the side, so as to make any wounds one causes sting that much more."
- "He looks intelligent only because light travels faster than sound."
- "He is too easily lost in thought, unfamiliar territory always bollixes his sense of direction."
- "If one can not make a silk purse from a sow's ear, what am I to make of a sow's ass like yourself?"
- "The best I can say of the man is that he is biodegradable, would that the process were quicker in his case."
- "I suppose that's what passes for wit in your corner of the world. Pity that it's the same corner that my cocker spaniel urinates in."
- "All you are is an orgasm gone horribly awry."